11 Things About Grilling Your Wife Wants You To Know

Nothing like a bone in ribeye to brighten up this hump day! Thanks for the eye candy,

Look, we can’t fix all communication in a single blog post. But we sure are going to try. Consider this your playbook for understanding the pieces of conversations that you may have had without fully understanding what was going on. Just assume that all of these things are true and use them as your grilling home base.

Here are 11 things about grilling that your wife wants you to know.

1. Cleaning the Grill is Still Your Job

It’s awesome that you spent a couple of hours prepping and grilling the perfect medium-rare steak. But that doesn’t mean you can shirk your responsibilities to clean the grill. As a master of the grill, you’re the pilot. You can’t get the plane up in the air and then ask someone else to land it simply because you want to enjoy the in-flight meal.

Take charge of the grill, end to end.

If you use a Kick Ash Basket for your coal, you’ll streamline the cleaning process. The basket makes it really easy to shake out the old ash and retain any coals that still have some life for your next grill session. Plus, you can snag a matching Kick Ash Can to make ash removal even easier. No more scraping the bottom of the grill to get all the dust and contaminants out.

2. Meat isn’t always a “Meal”

It’s awesome when there’s a ton of meat grilled up, to perfection. But unless you’re making something specific, a perfect steak or a nicely smoked brisket doesn’t qualify in a meal all by itself. You’ll need some sides, drinks, and other food to put everything together.

Get involved in the whole meal: bake the perfect soft dinner rolls to make sandwiches, and make the coleslaw that goes on top. So now you’ve got homemade pulled pork sandwiches, all the way from scratch. Still meat, but now it’s a meal.

3. Chicken Can’t Be Medium Rare

Overcooked meat is bad. You’ve probably been edging closer and closer to mouth-watering rare on those steaks over the years as you’ve gotten more comfortable with your grill setup. But there’s one kind of meat that you can’t cook to medium-rare: chicken.

There is no such thing as medium-rare chicken. Poultry needs to hit the target temperature of 165, every single time you put the bird on the grill. Anything less, and you’ll be putting your family and friends in danger. Chicken has two speeds: done and not done. There’s no third one.

Timing will help you manage your chicken. A chicken breast needs anywhere from 16 to 24 minutes, depending on the heat of your grill. But that wide time range means that if you want to avoid turning your chicken into sawdust, you’ll need to use a meat thermometer. Get the meat up to 165 quickly, and then pull it before it becomes dry and flaky.

4. Don’t Dump the Ash in the Backyard

Seriously. Unless you’ve got ash from wood pellets, the ash contains chemicals that you aren’t going to want scattered in the flowerbeds. It might look like gray dirt, but it’s not.

Natural wood charcoal is becoming increasingly popular. If you have ash from that, you can mix it and spread it like fertilizer. But if you are using classic briquette charcoal, you’ll need to wrap up the charcoal in foil and ship it off to the landfill. Tossing it into your garden can harm the plants—and if you used lighter fluid at all, you’ll definitely need to keep it out of your flower beds.

5. It’s Really Cool that You Know Lots of Grilling Words

Depending on who you’re married to, that sentence can take on varying degrees of sarcasm. If you don’t know grilling like moss knows the north side of a tree, then it’s really easy to get lost in the different vocabulary and trends. Barbecue and grilling have some confusing words that you need to understand. Or to explain. Or to communicate clearly!

6. New Recipes are Exciting

Look, there’s a certain joy that comes from dialing in a signature recipe. Maybe you’ve got a perfect cut of steak or size of brisket that you want to become a pro with. But if you’re on the eating end of things, new recipes are exciting.

You could find a list of the best grilling recipes from across the country and cook your way through that. You could also work your way through 12 things you never thought to grill. Either way, stretch your comfort zone. Play the hits but also don’t be afraid to release a new album and take on the critics. Experiment, explore, and grill new dishes.

7. Kids Need to Eat Too

It’s really easy to get laser-focused on a single type of meat or a single grilling strategy. After all, perfection demands that your grill environment be perfectly tailored to a single recipe. You can’t have cobs of corn in one corner and chicken breasts in another and end up with anything other than mediocrity.

But the kids need to eat too. And kids can be picky. Luckily, with a little creativity, there are tons of kid-approved grill recipes for picky eaters. So straighten up, grab those tongs, and throw a grilled cheese onto the grill.

8. Meat is a Flavor, but Only Kinda

Similar to the reminder that meat is not a meal: meat is a flavor, but only kind of a flavor. Seasonings, marinades, spices, and sauces can add an extra kick of interesting to a boring flavor. The grill is not purely about your desire to master an art—it’s about what’s for dinner. And “plain steak,” even perfectly cooked, can get tiring if it pops up on the family menu weekend after weekend.

9. The Outside of the Grill Matters Too

Thoroughly cleaning the inside of the grill helps prevent contaminants and chemicals from getting onto the food. But the outside of the grill matters too. 

Obviously dust can get in from the outside, but dusty and rusty grills also just look bad! Keep a rag and soapy water to clean the outside before drying it thoroughly. Make a habit of wiping down the outside as part of your normal cleaning routine.

10. Buy New Flavors and Grill Stuff

If it makes you happy and makes great food, it’s a great investment. Purchasing things for the grill isn’t actually a bad thing. It’s an investment in amazing meals and a hobby that you really enjoy. 

And because new sauces, spices, equipment, and gear aren’t nearly as expensive as a sports car—they count as a great purchase. Everyone benefits when you buy stuff that makes amazing food!

11. We Should Grill More Often

It’s a delicious meal that usually produces enough leftovers to make amazing sandwiches and lunches to feed a small army. You end up doing a lot of the work, and it all tastes amazing. Most spouses wish that they could get meals grilled for them even more often!

And of course, the more often you grill the more often you can justify buying new tools, gear, and spices to try out. It’s a hobby that really does benefit the whole family. Start grilling more often.

Jim Quessenberry – BBQ of the Old Days – KWYN Yawn Patrol 1993

00:05 Interviewer
Jim, describe for me the old pure, unadulterated barbecue of the old days. Used to be a big event… now days people say “We’re gonna have barbecue” They come over for a few hours in the afternoon, and they slap something on possibly even the grill. But back in the old days. I’m assuming they stayed up all night it was a big event. They prepared for it and describe a real barbecue back in the old days for us.
00:34 Jim Quessenberry
Well when I was a little boy out there at Birdeye, every fourth of July, the local people, primarily black people, they were they would dig these pits in the ground. And they always had two or three goats they’d barbecue. a lot of people did hogs and all, but … at Birdeye they did goats on the fourth July, and they would make an all day all night ritual out of the dern thing they’d they would slaughter those goats and dress them and have them on the fire, you know, and and they built a side fire,
01:10
where they burn the wood, and they would render the hot coals. And then take a shovel and you know… sift the coals in under the meat. And they would stay up all night with that with those goats, and I remember, I was a little boy, and I used to be so upset when dad make me go home, you know go to bed.
01:30
I never was old enough to stay up with them, and I just really envied them, you know, and…
01:33 Interviewer
They would stay up all night long?
01:34 Jim Quessenberry
All night long, and eat the next day and they had enough to feed everybody, and somebody would take some home and everything… and those things I know went on all over this at least southern part of the country.
01:46 Interviwer
Now I’m not sure whether you had this at Birdeye, but were there for example music related to some of these? …like some of the barbecues would people bring their guitars and fiddles?

01:49 Jim Quessenberry

Oh yeah, I’m sure they did. I don’t remember that being a part of it there at Birdeye, but I’m sure… but now I tell you what… but they may very well have done that at Birdeye.
02:03
Because I’ve heard lots of stories about ole BB King, who back in those days, BB King hung around over there at Cold Water and Twist all the time. And a lot of the old plantation owners and all tried to keep him run off because he’d be on somebody’s front porch playing that guitar and they couldn’t get people back in the fields because he’s pulling them and drawing them, you know.

The Smokestack Lightning Interview Tapes: Origin Story on Competing

 

Lolis Elie interviewing Jim Quessenberry

[00:00:00] Lolis Elie: How did you get into the actual barbecue business? Did you start off doing some competitions or…

[00:00:06] Jim Quessenberry: Yeah. Uh, well, see, I was in food service in Memphis. I was in …. with the Britling cafeterias over there. B, R, I, T, L, I, N, G, and uh, they’re an old company. They have cafeterias in Memphis. They have a cafeteria is in Nashville called B and w cafeteria.

[00:00:31] They have cafeterias in Kentucky, Louisville, Lexington, and all up in there called, uh… Blue Boar… Blue Boar like a boar hog. And, uh, the actual company, is a very, very old company that came out of… Uh… It came out of Birmingham years and year ago, but, uh, It’s an old family owned company. I worked for them for oh, four or five [00:01:00] years, four years, I guess. Which, you know, I’ve always been interested in food, I mean, even as a hobby. Well, I got into it as a business there. And I’ve always been into barbecue. My folks, that’s what the idea did to entertain when we were kids. Uh, you know, the both of them together kind of made a, uh, an indelible impression on me. So, uh, when these contests started coming along. It was a natural pursuit. You know, something I knew I was pretty fair at, so I just started doing them. And. uh..

[00:01:34] Lolis Elie: What year was that?

[00:01:36] Jim Quessenberry: Woo… uh… ’78 maybe…

[00:01:39] Lolis Elie: You do Memphis in May in ’78? first one?

[00:01:42] Jim Quessenberry: Yeah, been to every one of them. Under one name or other. We’ve been under a lot of different team names was always, always been me. And, a lot of my folks that I have now, have never, you know, have never been to two or three contests. A lot of folks I had with me back then, don’t go [00:02:00] to them anymore because they’ve all decided they’re too old. Me, I don’t ever get too old.

[00:02:04] Lolis Elie: Hmm… Did you ever win any of them?

[00:02:07] Jim Quessenberry: Yeah, we won uh… second one year… We won second in the second year they had it, we second in whole hog. We won third in… I believe 84, and uh… I won a comp… A side competition they had over there one year. John Morel was one of the sponsors. They had a contest called The Jet Net Ham Contest, which is nothing but a boneless ham in a jet net. And I won that. And that was really an accomplishment ‘cause it had about 200 entries. Um, but, uh, we’ve been pretty consistent about scoring fairly high. During one little period there, like about a five or six year period, we didn’t… We didn’t come in any worse than tenth place, which in a place… competition that big, that’s pretty good. Of course, we’ve come in… We’ve [00:03:00] literally brought up the rear before. You know.

[00:03:04]

We “never get too old.” That’s why Sauce Beautiful has been the preferred choice for thousands for over 30 years.

The Smokestack Lightning Interview Tapes: Cleveland Rib Mafia

Here we have another segment from the Smokestack Lightning interview tapes. Jim Quessenberry tells his story of locking horns in Cleveland over ribs, and how his ribs went missing like Jimmy Hoffa.

The Smokestack Lightning Interview Tapes: Jim Quessenberry’s BBQ Origins

I have recently come across some amazing recordings that I believed were lost to time. But, I did a little research and uncovered these amazing treasures. I reached out to author Lolis Elie, and he directed me to the Southern Foodways Alliance. He had donated all of the cassettes to them. There is more to come… Listen below as dad tells Lolis Elie and Frank Stewart a little about his beginnings in BBQ. -Michael Quessenberry

Interview with Jim Quessenberry by Lolis Elie and Frank Stewart

Lolis Elie: [00:00:01] Well, how did you get into this barbecue business? And, you can go back before the sauces themselves… the sauce and rub…

Jim Quessenberry: [00:00:10] Um… It’s been basically a hobby all my life, and…

Jim Quessenberry: [00:00:16] Actually, BBQ has been a big part of… uh…

Jim Quessenberry: [00:00:21] Most of our family… uh… celebrations… be it Easter,

Jim Quessenberry: [00:00:28] Fourth of July, all your three day weekends, like your labor day, and Memorial Day, and that type of thing, you know?

Jim Quessenberry: [00:00:37] Um… Even Christmas.

Jim Quessenberry: [00:00:39] Somebody’s always barbecue and something, you know, my brother-in-law over here. He always prided himself and doing a wild goose. I think it’s wild… maybe domestic… he always does a goose for Christmas and you know, I’m always doing something Christmas a big fresh ham or something, but…

Lolis Elie: [00:00:56] You say fresh ham, you mean green or like…

Jim Quessenberry: [00:00:59] Yeah Green ham. Yeah. I didn’t know you knew what a green ham was man.. Where you been learning all this shit?

Lolis Elie: [00:01:04] I used to read Green Eggs and Ham, man.

Jim Quessenberry: [00:01:04] *laughs*

Frank Stewart: [00:01:05] He’s a smart boy.

Jim Quessenberry: [00:01:06] Yeah he is.

Jim Quessenberry: [00:01:13] You’d be surprised how many people don’t know what a green… what green meat is.

Lolis Elie: [00:01:17] Oh no, I, We… The people at Craig’s and Duvall’s Bluff.

Jim Quessenberry: [00:01:21] Yeah.

Lolis Elie: [00:01:21] I was trying to figure out if they were doing green or slightly smoked, so I got the terminology. But I can tell you where I got it from. The guy at Cozy Corner, Ray Robinson… When you go talk to him, tell him, Uh.. you know, tell him you know us. In fact, we told him we come here to see you.

Jim Quessenberry: [00:01:34] Yeah.

Lolis Elie: [00:01:34] We told him about you.

Jim Quessenberry: [00:01:36] Yeah, I want to meet him.

Lolis Elie: [00:01:37] Also, he has a totally different style from everybody else… If we even talk about food… half… shoot… At this point, half the time it’s not about barbecue. It’s one of our stop off points. If we finish, you know, doing Memphis in May, We will crash there for a minute.

Jim Quessenberry: [00:01:51] Yeah, I’m gonna check him out, but I need me a new place to stop.

Frank Stewart: [00:01:54] Oh Yeah. He’s efficient. He closes at 7.

Jim Quessenberry [00:01:54] Oh really?

Lolis Elie: [00:02:02] Yeah.

Jim Quessenberry: [00:02:02] Independent type dude… That’s what I like.

Frank Stewart: [00:02:03] Opens promptly at 10, and closes promptly at 7.

Jim Quessenberry: [00:02:03] That’s great!

Frank Stewart: [00:02:03] He is not open on Sunday and Monday.

Lolis Elie: [00:02:03] Right.

The Beautiful Imperial BBQ Stew

This is a recipe that uses a Dutch Oven, it could be modified for a Crockpot, but I’m not sure how the timing would work out.

  • Serves 4-6
  • Cook time: 55 minutes
  • Prep Time: 15 minutes

 

Ingredients

The recipe takes quite a few ingredients including beer so get ready for a hearty meal.

  • 2 lbs of Stew beef, chuck preferably
  • 2 tablespoons flour
  • 2 large carrots
  • 3 medium white potatoes (skinning optional) chopped into 1” chunks
  • One large onion, sliced
  • 2 Tablespoons of minced garlic
  • 11oz of Imperial Porter Beer (a smoky malt is the best)
  • 5oz of Jim Quessenberry’s Sauce Beautiful
  • 2 Tablespoons of Grapeseed oil (or olive oil)
  • Ground sea salt, ground pepper, seasoning salt, smoked paprika to taste

 

Instructions

  1. Put the dutch oven on a medium burner with the grapeseed oil.
  2. When the oil is rippling put in the stew beef and turn until evenly browned, add the garlic and flour in halfway through this process.
  3. Dump the Carrots, Potatoes and Onion in the dutch oven, add salt, pepper and paprika.
  4. Add Imperial stout, careful it may froth up.
  5. Add Sauce Beautiful
  6. Cover and let sit for 15 minutes or until simmering. Turn on oven to 350°
  7. Set dutch oven on a middle rack for 20 minutes.
  8. When 20 minutes is up check on stew, if it is not thickening enough, cook for the last remaining 20 minutes uncovered.
  9. Allow to cool for 5 minutes.

 

Serve in a bowl with a glass of the same porter beer and a hunk of hearty bread to sop up the broth.